I did not go to school for 2 days, neither did I step out of my house. Well, I’d be going to the airport later on to fetch my brother, who is coming back from Australia. We are going to have a family dinner, like after so long. And such things rarely happen as we are all absorbed in our own little world.

Good Lord and today is Thanksgiving day.

It is taking a longer time to heal than I expected and as said by the dermatologist. I was told that I’d be able to go to school the following day after the treatment but I guess that they failed to realise that different people react and heal differently to the chemical peel treatment. You know I had this bad feeling that it is going to take a long time and I kept telling them.

The patches of burned and the peeling skin. I really hope that the new skin forms over the dead ones. Chemical peel, the process itself is painful, depending on the dosage. The first time I went, there were no visible effects because I was put on a low dosage. I felt only a mild burning sensation. The recent one was really painful. But no pain means no gain. No burns and no skin peeling means no clean and clear skin.

I just want my acne problem to be under control. Thats all. I know that I’d still will be grappling with acne problems until my mum’s age (it is in the genes, i suppose) but at least it won’t be as worse as last time.

Anyway, thank God, I made it through.

I hope that my skin would have healed by Sunday because its my cousin’s wedding and the first of our family, after a long long time.

iamblessed:

theamazon

Somehow, my thoughts run back to you. Even in the haze of uncertainty, they find their way to you.

I am starting to feel nervous for my attachment which is about 2 months away. I am not exactly worried about planning the lessons. The part that gets me worried is the interaction between me and the parents, the teachers and the children. I’m worried that my social anxiety problem is going to get in the way and mess things up.

I am a socially awkward person. It takes me awhile to get used to the environment and new people. And “awhile” can be a long time. In the process of getting used to the environment can contribute to a lot of negative perception of who I am. From the usual anti-social label to “is there anything wrong with you” question. Sometimes, I can adapt easily and other times, it can be real pain.

I am just hoping for the best. I want to put my self-esteem issues aside and love what I am doing.

And I know, I won’t be alone because God will be there, to guide me through.

I’m unable to see beyond the blurred image that I have of myself. And its not okay because there is so much more to life and I am exhausting myself by thinking too much of the surface layer of reality.

A deadline to meet and time is running out. The effects of procrastination is wearing me down.

I have to submit the English resources on Monday and I am only 20% complete. The big ones like the Story Chart and Story Background, I have not even decided on the stories yet.

However, in spite of the worrying and hurrying, somehow you will end up with what you are supposed to do. So, go with the flow.

And, as I cannot seem to break away from this last minute habit of mine and instead of the usual “I will do everything in advance” empty promise, I might as well, make full use of the little time and create something out of it.

So goodbye for now but not forever.